Please Delete This

Richard wrote:Wise old Tim wonders: “Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor and dishwashing soap made with real lemons?”

Richard wrote:Alan: Why can’t you write with a broken pencil?

Richard: Why?

Alan: It’s pointless.

Richard wrote:Teacher: Jon-Jon, where’s your pencil?


Jon-Jon: I ain’t got one.


Teacher: Jon-Jon, where’s your grammar?


Jon-Jon: She’s at home, and she ain’t got my pencil either!

Richard wrote:Craig runs up to a farmhouse and pounds on the door. Farmer Alan answers. “Where’s the nearest railroad station, and what time is the next train into the city?” he asks Farmer Alan. “Cut through my back hayfield yonder, and you ought to reach the crossroads station in time for the 5:40,” Farmer Alan says. “But, Craig, if my bull spots you, I reckon you’ll make the 5:15.”

Richard wrote:Darlene: Eeew! Where are you going with that skunk?

Dave: To Richard's Camper.

Darlene: But what about the odor?

Dave: Oh, the skunk will get used to it.

Richard wrote:Butch walked up to Chuck's campsite and was amazed to find him playing chess with his dog, Max.

“I can hardly believe my eyes!” Butch exclaimed after watching for a while. “That’s the smartest dog I’ve ever seen.”

“Nah, not so smart,” Chuck replied. “I’ve won the last three of five games.”

Richard wrote:“Am I going to be all right?” asked Richard as Alan looked at the snakebite on his leg.

“I’m sorry, buddy, but you don’t have much longer to live.”

“How much longer?” Richard asked.

“Five,” Alan replied.

“Five what? Years? Months? Days?”

Alan, looking at his watch, interrupted: “Four….”

Richard wrote:Donna: What did the bird general say to its army?

Betty: What?

Donna: “Re-tweet!”

Richard wrote:The teacher asked little Lilia if she knew her numbers.

“Yes,” she said. “My Daddy taught me.”

“Good. What comes after three?”

“Four,” answered Lily.

“What comes after six?”

“Seven.”

“Very good,” said the teacher.

“Your dad did a good job. And what comes after 10?”

“Jack.”

Richard wrote:Caroline: Mom, Jon-Jon broke a window!

Mother: How did he do it?

Caroline: I threw a rock at him, and he ducked!

Richard wrote:Stacy: How did the Indian boy sneak up on his friend?

Jeff: How?

Stacy: On tepeetoes!

Richard wrote:Tim: Doctor, Doctor, I keep getting pains in my eye when I drink coffee.

Doctor: Have you tried taking the spoon out of the cup?

Richard wrote:Wise old Tim wonders: “If the No. 2 pencil is so popular, then why is it still No. 2?”

Richard wrote:Craig: I predict I’m going to be in the book of world records.

Jen: Really? What did you do?

Craig: I finished this jigsaw puzzle in under a week.

Jen: What’s so great about that?

Craig: The box says “2 to 3 years.”