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Richard wrote:Pirate Richard and Sailor Tim were exchanging stories. Sailer Tim pointed to Pirate Richard’s peg leg and asked, “How did you get that?”

Pirate Richard said, “Aye, I wrestled a shark and lost me leg.”

Sailor Tim pointed to Pirate Richard’s hook and asked, “How did you get that?”

Pirate Richard said: “Aye, I fought Red Beard’s crew and lost me hand.”

Sailor Tim pointed to the Pirate Richard’s eye patch and asked, “How did you get that?”

Pirate Richard said, “Aye, a bird came by and left droppings in me eye.”



Sailor Tim said, “That’s not as impressive as the other two. …”

“Aye,” Pirate Richard answered. “It was me first day with the hook.”

Richard wrote:Caroline: For $20, I’ll be good.
Richard: Oh, yeah? When I was your age, I was good for nothing.

Richard wrote:Little Jon-Jon and Richardwere digging for fishing bait in the garden. Uncovering a many-legged creature, Jon-Jon proudly dangled it before his dad.


“No, little buddy, it won’t do for bait,” Richard said. “It’s not an earthworm.”


“It’s not?” Jon-Jon asked, his eyes wide. “What planet is it from?”

Richard wrote:Alan: Imagine you’re on a deserted island surrounded by sharks. No civilization in sight. How do you get off?

Tim: How?

Alan: Stop imagining!