More Thoughts as I Grow Old
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More Thoughts as I Grow Old
1. I'm not saying let's go kill all the stupid people. I'm just
saying let's remove all the warning labels and let the problem work
itself out.
2. I changed my car horn to gunshot sounds. People move out of the
way much faster now.
3. You can tell a lot about a woman's mood just by her hands. If they
are holding a gun, she's probably very cross.
4. Gone are the days when girls cooked like their mothers. Now they
drink like their fathers.
5. You know that tingly little feeling you get when you really like
someone you've just met? That's common sense leaving your body.
6. I don't like making plans for the day....because then the word
"premeditated" gets thrown around in the courtroom.
7. I didn't make it to the gym today. That makes 1,508 days in a row.
8. I decided to change calling the bathroom "the John" and renamed it
"the Jim". I feel so much better saying "I went to the Jim this
morning".
9. Dear paranoid people who check behind shower curtains for
murderers: If you find one, what's your plan?
10. Politicians should have two terms - one in office and the other in prison
Just remember Einstein's comment:
"There is a major difference between intelligence and stupidity;
intelligence has its limits."
saying let's remove all the warning labels and let the problem work
itself out.
2. I changed my car horn to gunshot sounds. People move out of the
way much faster now.
3. You can tell a lot about a woman's mood just by her hands. If they
are holding a gun, she's probably very cross.
4. Gone are the days when girls cooked like their mothers. Now they
drink like their fathers.
5. You know that tingly little feeling you get when you really like
someone you've just met? That's common sense leaving your body.
6. I don't like making plans for the day....because then the word
"premeditated" gets thrown around in the courtroom.
7. I didn't make it to the gym today. That makes 1,508 days in a row.
8. I decided to change calling the bathroom "the John" and renamed it
"the Jim". I feel so much better saying "I went to the Jim this
morning".
9. Dear paranoid people who check behind shower curtains for
murderers: If you find one, what's your plan?
10. Politicians should have two terms - one in office and the other in prison
Just remember Einstein's comment:
"There is a major difference between intelligence and stupidity;
intelligence has its limits."
gwtriker- Posts : 76
Join date : 2010-07-18
Location : ridgewood, Cleveland, Tn
Re: More Thoughts as I Grow Old
Thanks for sharing these. I always look forward to seeing your comical posts.
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